Atonement

no I don't have permission from the NYTimes to use this picThis morning at the Zendo our host riffed on a quote she said was erroneously attributed to Trotsky: you may not be interested in war but it is interested in you. And then she encouraged at one ment, atonement, with all the players. I am the wounded pride. I am the mother with no home for my children. I am fear, rage, wailing, determination. 

Last week I was happy to be downtown in our fair city, the buzz of anonymous proximity waking cells long dormant. 

We are picking sides. We are for democracy. But someone said democracy itself is a right to battle, to protest, to parade your point of view. I asked what is the role of structure on the battlefield? If a bully breaks the rules? or makes the rules?

Yesterday the birds squawked and the breeze blew. Today the snow from my window is putting on a show. Who is winning? 

Each breath is a battle. So far I am victorious. Each word presents a challenge to type. I am assisted by the technology we love to protest--auto spell and its intimacy with my mind. Soon I will lay down my weapons and someone might say rest in peace. 

 March 9 2022