My right hand is giving out, so I'm practicing parsimony.
Problems I don't have:
- worrying that I'm too fat.
- struggling to eat less
Look, this is not trivial. Countless pages in my lifelong diaries are filled with efforts to shape my body into something lovable.
sometime in the 80s
Problems I don't have:
- thinking I am not lovable
Come to think of it, most problems vanish when I find myself worthy of love. For example:
- hating humanity, especially children, except my own, then feeling jealous of my own for receiving more love than me
- rushing to do things to prove things to change things
- measuring myself against other people
- embarrassment. mostly, anyway, but for sure the stuff that used to embarrass me makes me laugh
I lamented to my friend that I can't type anymore and he speculated correctly that I've had a long history of typing with all my fingers. "Oh, do you type with one?" I asked. "Yes, I can teach you," he answered, then proceeded to share his story of a heroic hunt for "w," rendered nearly unattainable by the fist obscuring it.
Do you remember Cat Stevens? "If I ever lose my mouth, all my teeth, north and south...oh iiiiiiiiiiiif...I won't have to talk"
Here's a little zen poem about a koan that asks what is a cart without a wheel or anything else:
When the hubless wheel turns,
Master or no master can stop it.
It turns above heaven and below earth,
South, north, east, and west.
July 16, 2021